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Remember - by Tessa Altstatt, Garden Intern 2015

12/30/2014

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It has been two and a half months now since I have left Songaia. Since then I have had one or two dreams about Patricia urgently reminding me to write my blog. The anxiety about this blog being written was creeping around every thought...I felt the blog needed to show the full extent of my appreciation and this is the reason I haven't gotten it done.
I just can not put in words what living and working at Songaia did for me. I have never transitioned so much in my life and I owe a lot to everyone at Songaia. You all taught me something important. If I were to explain what you all taught me, it would take a few pages more, so just know that each and every one of you carries within yourselves something very beautiful. 
I am so blessed to have had you all as teachers, I will carry on the advice throughout my journeys. I wonder often how you all are doing and how the garden is getting along, I hope the holidays have been full of good memories and good food, although I'm very certain they were.

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Since I have been home, I have really had to take a lot of meditation time on whether to stay or go from San Juan. There has been so much developement even in the 6 months I was gone and still they are building. I wanted so badly to return to the pacific northwest where I wouldn't see signs of doom impending around every corner, where people are generally a little more aware than here in Orange County. 
However, more and more signs pointed me to stay home. I have to involve myself in this town which I have grown up in, this town that is quickly turning into a city. I have got to help remind people we can still be a community. I got a job at a local health food store and I think I might get a job at the ecology center in town where I will also be taking a course to get my Permaculture Design Certificate. 
Hopefully this involvement will be enough and my knowledge will grow so that I can begin to reach out to people. Even if it means going door to door getting signatures, pushing a few truthful words and having the possibility of being called a hippie and getting a door slammed in my face. 

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For now, I have been collecting food waste from my own kitchen and my father and I have built a compost bin from old wood sitting on our side yard. A summer with high temperature and water shortages left southern california's land looking hungry, including my parent's garden. However, with my hands and heart I look to heal this little piece of land around our house. With the earth crying and the old people who dwell within it yell, it's easiest to sooth it slowly out of it's nightmare.


When this chaotic world attempts to enter my skull, I will find peace in the garden. Something I'm sure all the Biogaians understand well. 

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